Grandpa's Funeral

I have been holding off on making this post, it isn't the easiest thing for me to do. So many people say to me that Grandpa is better off now, and that all old people have to die!! I know he is better off, but it doesn't make it any easier and my Grandpa died at the age of 72, that isn't old to me, he died way too young and should have had more time to live. It isn't easy for me and having my own children to explain this too has made it harder. My Grandpa's funeral was something I will never forget. It was beautiful, the message that was taught was amazing. When I listened to my Mom, Aunt Donna, Uncle Jerry, and Uncle John speak the message I got from them was to live a simple life, love and accept everyone, show kindness in the small ways, be an honest person, love your family even if they have offended you, and endure! My Grandpa did all of these, he lived a very hard life and didn't always make the best choices, in fact the choices he made took him from us far too early. But I have learned from his example, he was great in my eyes and in the eyes of his family. I never once thought my Grandpa was a bad person, I loved him no matter what! I had the privilege of singing "Grandpa tell me about the good old days" that song was my Grandpa, he always told me about the good old days when life was good, I will miss his stories and his love. But I will always remember the stories he did tell me, and things he taught me. My Grandpa will live in me forever!

The beautiful flowers

Josh and Kenna

Josh, cousin Adam, my sister Katie, my brother Nick

My Great Aunt Doris and Kenna. Aunt Doris was my lifesaver with Kenna. Kenna was so busy and would not stay with me, but boy did she love Doris. Kenna kept pointing and saying "Grandpa" she had the sweetest spirit with her that day I will never forget it. Kenna loved Grandpa.

Uncle Jesse trying to keep Kenna under control as well.

Sweet little angels...Jaden, Maddy, Charlie, and Kynzee. How do you explain death to a child? Let me tell you what it is very hard, I learned that this day and the questions have been not stop since. These kids loved their Grandpa!

My Great Uncle Dell and my Dad

Josh, Kenna, Maddy, and Kynzee, it was a cold windy day!

The Paul Bearers that Grandpa was always so proud of..my brothers.... Nick, Nathan, Jesse and my cousins...Daniel, Ryan, and Adam

Look at those wonderful Men that Grandpa taught and loved so much

Cousins Adam and Daniel and my brother Nathan..you can see the sadness on their face...so hard for them. Grown men do cry!

My sister Katie holding Kynzee's hand

Daddy keeping sweet Kenna under control

Goodbye Grandpa

My Grandpa earned his wings and went back to heaven on Tuesday night. I was privileged to be there when he left and I will never forget the face he gave us before he was gone...let's just say it broke his heart to leave us. I know I was loved by him and I loved him so much, I will miss him, but I know he has gone on to a far better place and he will come to get me someday when it is my time to go. God be with you till me meet again Grandpa!

Grandpa

I know each of us is sad,

It’s not easy losing a Husband, Grandpa, and Dad.

Together we’ve cried an ocean of tears.

It isn’t the same without him here.

However,

Grandpa wants us to remember

He is in a good place.

Watching us from above

With a smile on his face.

We have made him proud,

As proud as one can be.

Simply by giving him the greatest gift

A family!

Although we can’t see him,

we are still together.

His spirit lives in each of us forever.

So, look up at the sky for the brightest star.

As this is Grandpa watching us from a far.

Dear God if it’s not to much fuss...

Could you give him the best –

as he had done for us?

In my life and so many others he played a special part.

His memories are forever embedded in our heart.

My Grandpa

I got a call at 9:00 this morning from my Dad, I wondered why he was calling so early. Well I have just been dreading the call telling me my Grandpa is gone, I thought for sure that was what he was going to tell me, it wasn't. The call was to tell me that Grandpa was now in the hospital and was not going to be waking up again. I have told you all before about him having lung cancer and how he didn't have much longer to live. Well now he only has a couple days if even that. I went to church and could hardly contain myself because I wanted to go to the hospital so bad, as soon as we got home I left. As I walked into the hospital on this nasty snowy day, I was overcome with so many emotions. It is so hard to loose someone you love so much, there is no easy way to say goodbye. I watched all my dear family members as they cried, my Mom and one of my brothers literally sobbed, my sweet Grandma, Aunts and Uncles and cousins all there together and so sad, I wondered how we would ever survive this sad thing that is about to happen. I got there just in time to listen to my Uncle give my Grandpa the most amazing blessing. My Uncle just got out of the hospital in Salt Lake, he has prostate cancer. He had surgery and is in so much pain, I saw him as I walked down the hall of the hospital and I couldn't believe he was there. He was there to see his Dad and I just cried for him, how scary to face cancer in the eye again and then to have to say goodbye to your Dad on top of it. The spirit filled the room as he gave my grandpa the most amazing, peaceful blessing. I was so glad I was there to hear it. I cannot wait until the day that we can go to the temple as a family and do my Grandpa's temple work. I know he will rejoice on that wonderful day. I have been so blessed to have such good family in my life and to be so close to each of them. As I sat there by my Grandpa's bedside today I was taken back to all the good times I have had with him, how thankful I am to have known him and to have been so close to him. These next few days are going to be so hard for our family, I wish that saying goodbye was easier. I am so thankful for temple work and forever families! I love you Grandpa and I know you will be there to get me someday.

It is Spring!!

I know I am posting so many tonight. I finally have some time to sit down and relax and catch up from the week. I am loving the beautiful weather and so are my girls. There is noting better than a wonderful spring day outside with the kids. I am done with winter and I am glad we are moving on to better days, I just hope it stays like this. I am looking forward to Easter with the girls this year, it seems like the last two Easter's I have been sick and haven't been able to really enjoy the day. This year is going to be so fun. We have so many fun things planned for summer and I am so excited. There is lots to look forward to and i am so happy to be putting winter behind!

My Sweet Kenna

Kenna is such a sweetheart! Here are a couple things I don't want to forget about her so I am blogging them. Kenna has to wear a backpack everyday when we take the girls to school. She loves backpacks and packs them with all sorts of goodies throughout the day. If I loose something it just might be in Kenna's backpack!

Kenna loves her zipper jammies and could wear them everyday all day long. Her favorite is either naked and I mean all the way naked..no diaper and all or zipper jammies. She is such a cutie.

Kenna also loves a hat!! Any hat....she just loves them :)

Then she just barely today started started saying "blesh you", not "bless you" after she sneezes it is the cutest thing ever. She will sneeze and then as soon as she can talk she says "blesh you" and she says it just like that. I love it! She makes me smile and laugh everyday, O how I love her and wish I could stop time right now!

London Bridges Falling Down

Lately the girls have been playing london bridges falling down with Kenna and they laugh and have so much fun together. Kenna is always the one that gets locked up and she thinks it is so great that she says "again, again". These pictures aren't the greatest but at least you get the idea :)

Visiting Family

We went to visit my Grandparents on Sunday and we pretty much got to see my Mom's whole family. My Aunt and Uncle were there from Missouri and they had their kids, we don't get to see them very often at all. My girls loved playing with them and they had a great time, I got some cute pictures of them together. It is so hard for me to visit my Grandpa while he is so sick, I won't ever forget it. They say hard things make you stronger but I feel like it makes me weaker.

I am tired of winter!!

Do you ever feel like the winter drags on way too long? I am feeling like that lately. My kids keep getting sick, just when I think they are getting better they come down with something else. I guess that's what happens when kids start going to school. It seems like I can never have them all well at the same time. I go through a ton of antibacterial soap and hand sanitizer and they still get sick. By the looks of our weather maybe spring isn't too far off, I hope anyway. Maybe my kids will feel better once the weather gets nicer. Until then this is what they look like most days....just lounging and using lots of Kleenexes!

Maddy is growing too fast!

Maddy is growing up so fast. She is so fun and cute we just love her. Maddy lost her two front teeth and it is making her grow up even faster, it is so hard for me. I wish my kids could stay little forever. The days seem to go by so fast and the kids just get bigger. I cherish every waking hour I have with my kids and I love them so much. Maddy is such a huge helper to me and I don't know what I would do without her. Love you Maddy Mae!

Dance Recital

We had a dance recital on Saturday and it was just so fun. I love to watch the girls dance, they are so little and cute out their performing. I am so proud of the girls this year they have been learning the dances so good. It was a really fun recital and I am so glad that the girls had fun as well. Usually we have problems with Kynzee not staying on stage but this year she did great, she is getting so brave. My friend had just had her baby so she couldn't be there, so I got to help with her girls and take some cute pictures of our girls together. And Daddy bought the girls beautiful roses because they did such a good job. We had a very fun day!

Maddy, Kynzee, Skyler and Kenlee

Makio has arrived!

My good friend Kacey finally had her baby!! It seemed like that little boy was never going to come, (and she would agree with me). He weighed 8 lbs 12 oz and was 21.5 inches long. Super cute baby with beautiful dark hair. I got to go see him, hold him, and love on him, he is so perfect, sent straight from heaven, it doesn't get any better than that. Congratulations Nick and Kacey!

Grandma's Glasses

Kenna loves wearing glasses!! She is always trying to take my Mom's glasses off so she can wear them. She finally succeeded!!Grandma was trying very softly to get the glasses back so they would not be smashed. Doesn't Kenna look cute with glasses?

This is a fun picture with My Mom's hands, my hands, and all of my girls hands. Hands of all sizes, and one hand with yellow nail polish (Maddy)

Look at my BIG helpers!

These pictures don't even do justice for what is really going on here. For months now Maddy and Kynzee beat me to Kenna's room to get her out of her crib at nap time. For awhile I was thinking Kenna was just getting out on her own and then one day I could hear the girls in there talking and working hard at something, like a team effort sort of a thing. Well this is what it was. Maddy gets into the crib, picks Kenna up, hands her over the rail to Kynzee and then Kynzee catches her and puts her down. Kenna squeals the entire time, (kinda like a baby piggy) and she loves for them to get her out of bed. This is so funny to watch and I finally got a picture of them doing it today. I am so glad I have big helpers in my house it's nice to have an extra hand once in a while. O yes and please don't mind the messy room, as you can see in the background I do have a bed for Kenna and I am working on getting her switched over! It is just easier to have her in the crib so she stays in bed, I am sure some of you would agree with me. Plus when you get them out of the crib that really means they are no longer the baby and I hate that thought.