Grandpa and Grandma Pasley

This picture is a treasure to me

This is going to be so hard for me to talk about, but I really need to write it down so I won't forget my feelings about it.

This is my Grandpa and Grandma Pasley and the girls. I have always been so close to my grandparents and I just love them so much. They live in Palisades and my girls call them the Grandma and Grandpa in the mountains :) I remember as a little girl going to visit them and Grandma would always cook the most fabulous meals, she really is a wonderful cook. Grandpa would be sitting in his chair and say either "Hi Nan" or "Hi Susie Q" when I walked into the room. I could tell many stories about my Grandparents because I have them in my heart like they were yesterday. I love to talk to my Grandma on the phone and I usually call her and talk often and usually for long periods of time. Sometimes when I call my Grandpa will answer the phone and the first thing he always says is "Hi Suzy Q how are ya?" My Grandparents have taught me so much about everything in life, I just love to talk to them and they are always so loving and concerned about me. I never dreamed as a child that there would be a day that Grandma and Grandpa wouldn't be there, I thought I would have them forever. As I grew older I realized I was one of the lucky ones, because there were lots of kids my age who didn't even have one Grandparent alive, some of them never got to know their Grandparents. I even had Great Grandparents alive! I have been so blessed to have these wonderful people in my life for so long. I have loved both sets of my Grandparents and they have each touched my life in so many ways. I have memories and my children have memories with them that will last forever. We just found out that my Grandpa has lung cancer. What a horrible thing to even say or hear, I just hate it!!! I have been so torn up by this, words cannot even express my feelings. I feel like I am loosing a huge part of my life and it hurts so bad. I am so emotional over this and I need to somehow find the strength to handle it. This is such a huge trial for my family and I hope and pray that we will be comforted in knowing that if we live our lives worthy we will be with our families again someday. I don't know how I could ever get through life if I didn't believe in eternal families.

I have thought a lot about death lately and I have always been so afraid of dying. The other day I had the thought come to me that I shouldn't be so afraid of it, they say earth life is but a second compared to Heaven. That means that when we die we will see our families again really soon it won't be long, it's just long for those left on earth. I have a hard time thinking about leaving my kids and my family behind if I were to die, I would miss them so much, but if earth life is so short to those in Heaven then all I have to do is hope my family would live righteously so I could see them again someday really soon. This has got me thinking so much about my kids and the things I have taught them and the things I still need to teach them. There is so much for me to do and I want to make sure I do it perfect. I want my kids to have a very firm foundation of the gospel in their lives and know that the church is true and that we have a loving Heavenly Father, I want this so that if something were to happen to me early on, my kids would remember what I taught them and they would live their life the way I taught them to live so I could be with them again someday. This is huge to me and I will find so much comfort if I continue to teach them the way my parents taught me, and instill it in their minds so strong that hopefully it will always be there and they will remember how important it was to me, and how much I loved them and wanted to be with them forever.